Beer beer want more beer

To the tune of 'Hail, Hail to Piracy' ... in my inaugural post as a food blogger I hearby plug the latest special offer at JD Witherspoon's, a vastly un-edgy chain pub normally stuffed with office workers and other plebs. Not only do they do a tasty full English / Scottish breakfast for buttons (supersize it into a hard-to-finish Farmhouse version for an extra quid), steak n chips, and perfectly respectable salmon, they do excellent guest ales, and annual beer and wine festivals.

It's the chain's 30th birthday, and this ale fest is even better than usual. For the price of a 1990s pint (£1.69 at my local), you get a beautiful obscurity such as ANKER GOUDEN CAROLUS AMBRIO, a fruity Belgian ale with a reddish colour and slight head. Being dull responsible types 'Spoons only sell you it in halves (it's 8% ABV) for 85p a glass.

A European ale? With foam? Does that happen? By God, I know nothing about beer. But maybe after I've sampled the other 49 I'll be on my way. For extra middle-aged-and-lovin-it fun, rate your ale on the Witherspoons website.

www.jdwetherspoon.co.uk/promotions/2009-real-ale-festival/

As a grassroots, hardcore, two fingers to the mainstream type of chap I'm pleased to note that this festival is endorsed by the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA). Only they've been online already giving their ratings and my lovely Anker Gouden only got 2.8%. Damnit, I will not be an entry-level know-nothing! I'm going to crack this ale lark even if it costs me (reaches for calculator) a further £82.81. Just like I cracked whisky by going to that Whisky Live! fest back in September.

While I'm not a fan of seeing the same chains everywhere you go in every city of the UK, if McDonald's had a one-off Bateman's Iron Lady (based on unfluffy former Prime Minister Maggie Thatcher) on tap I'd be willing to attend their birthday party too.